I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Randomize
