Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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