Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Randomize
