hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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