having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You dont lie about slip and slides
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
