we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
