Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
