It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
