i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm at about main and main street
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
