garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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