youre lurking in front of me
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
