did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
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