i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Say something about gay babies.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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