I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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