this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
