i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
