somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
