sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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