put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
