I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
