He asked me if I "almost moaned"
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
