i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Randomize
