yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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