no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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