If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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