She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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