I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Will exercising make me less horny?
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