don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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