i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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