We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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