I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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