i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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