Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
