i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He did a backflip because drugs
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