I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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