True but thats because hes a fetus.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
