The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
