i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
