The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
