Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
