I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a Shit stain on my heart
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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