I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My breasts were aching with rage.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Randomize
