There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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