My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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