Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
