put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
