Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
