do herpes really smell.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
