***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
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Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
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you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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