His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
