Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
