4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
