can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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