and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
