I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
it's like iHOP with fire
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize