the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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