ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
