Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
please come you make the beer taste better
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
