Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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