I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
