Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Randomize
