Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
