Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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