Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
